He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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