So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
