who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
