I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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