Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
