tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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