Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
