I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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