Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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