Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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