last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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