my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
