im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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