dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
