New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
