Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
