I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
