The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
