I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
