There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
