Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
