weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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