This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just threw up on my dentist
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
