Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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