Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
