i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
