I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
