shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
