Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
