I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She's the barista slut.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
