I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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