There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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