the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
