at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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