I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
