somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
