I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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