i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
