I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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