if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
