You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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