i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
