I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
