Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize