Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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