omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
two words...techno handjob
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
