So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
