She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
