O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
