Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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