My friends, they love my intelligence
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
