Do you still have your period?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
