I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
